


for the very first time (but not really)

by klaineanummel



Series: Story of My Life [7]
Category: Glee
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 02:38:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13965546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klaineanummel/pseuds/klaineanummel
Summary: Kurt and Blaine discuss one of the problems they've encountered in their relationship (and then have sex).





	for the very first time (but not really)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mailroomorder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mailroomorder/gifts), [sunshineoptimismandangels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineoptimismandangels/gifts), [jennywren (Jenn1042)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenn1042/gifts).



> I got several prompts about first time sex for Klaine (I have gifted the work to those who prompted this, and tagged those who I could on tumblr as well!). I am assuming that this is not what you were thinking, but I was a little stuck on the idea of amazing first time sex and how that would fit with the awful communication issues I addressed Kurt and Blaine having in "long live the car crash hearts". So, this is what you get instead. A long-ass conversation, and THEN sex ;) 
> 
> If you're just looking for the smut, it starts around "July 28th, 2024" if you want to ctrl+F past all the talking and the feelings :P
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! I've got about five other prompts I'm working on for this verse, and am hoping to get as many done as possible before April, as I will then be putting this verse on hiatus until I finish my Camp Nanowrimo fic (which I am currently plotting). If you've got more prompts, as always, feel free to drop me a line about them either here or on tumblr!
> 
>  **WARNING** there is a pretty long, explicit talk about one of the realistic aspects of anal sex that is often left out of fanfic because it's icky but it's the reality and i felt the need to address it in this fic. so, if you don't want to read about the potential for minor crossover between ~other anal activities and anal sex, maybe give this fic a pass.

**July 27 th, 2024**

They’ve been kissing for ten minutes, Blaine straddling Kurt’s lap, hands in his hair, tongue in his mouth.

It’s amazing. This part always is. The build up. The kisses, the touches, the shedding of clothes. Kurt’s hands fall to Blaine’s ass, pulling him closer. He can feel that Blaine is hard in his pants, erection rubbing against Kurt’s stomach.

Kurt moans into the kiss, and Blaine pulls away.

“I’m getting thirsty,” he says.

Kurt stares up at him, running his tongue over his kiss-swollen lips, already slick from Blaine’s tongue. They’re both breathing heavily, and Kurt’s hands are still on Blaine’s ass, staring at each other.

There’s a challenge in Blaine’s eyes. He’s waiting to see if Kurt is going to push, or if he’s going to let him go.

Kurt moves his hands from Blaine’s ass to his hips, gives them a quick squeeze, and says, “Get me a glass of water, too?”

Blaine stares at him for another moment, then nods, swinging his leg over Kurt’s body and hopping off the bed.

Kurt watches him leave the room, eyes on his amazing ass, his gorgeous, thin waist, his broad shoulders, perfect for cuddling into while watching a movie.

Once Blaine’s out of the room, Kurt lets himself sink into the bed, head falling harshly against the pillows.

He hates this. This game they have going, this tug of war of sorts. Who will push forward, who will pull back, who will give in. Last time, Kurt was the one who suggested they stop, and Blaine agreed. The time before, it was Kurt again, suggesting they binge something on Netflix. That time, Blaine disagreed and pulled Kurt closer, saying he had something else in mind for their evening.

That was over a month ago.

His mind drifts to their second therapy session with Dr. Pillsbury, only two days ago. Right at the end of their session, she’d looked them both straight in the eye and said, “I’ve already seen you make excellent strides, considering we’ve only had two sessions, but I can still see you both holding back. There are clearly still many aspects of your relationship you find unfulfilling, or that aren’t reaching expectations, but that you are too afraid to talk about due to your individual fears and insecurities.” She’d folded her pad and placed it on the table next to her chair, and then said, “Before our next session, I want you each to talk about one of these things. It doesn’t have to be a big discussion, or even a big issue, but I’d like you to try. Next session we’ll talk about what you’ve discussed, and see how well you incorporated the four R’s into your conversations, okay?”

God, the four R’s. He’d done a little bit of research on communication tactics before arriving at their first therapy session and found out abut the three R’s of communication: Reactive, Reflexive, and Responsive. He mentioned them early on in their session, admitting they were very good at the first, but not so much at the other two.

She’d suggested the inclusion of a fourth R, just for them: Responsible. She told them it was very clear to her, based on what they said about their fight, that both had been reacting to each other’s irresponsible words, which is what ultimately caused it to get so out of control. She challenged them to always remember to be responsible with their words, and to combine it with the reflexive aspect of communication.

Now, staring up at the ceiling of his room, he wonders how well the four R’s will do him about the conversation he is now certain they have to have. Hell, he’s known this was what they should talk about the moment Dr. Pillsbury gave them their challenge. He’s been turning it around in his head for the past two days, trying to figure out the most responsible way to tell Blaine, hoping to avoid a reaction.

Honestly, though, no matter how long he thinks about it, he can’t find a nice way of saying “we haven’t been having very good sex, have we?”

“Hey,” Blaine is suddenly right above him, face floating above Kurt’s. He gets on the bed, hopping over Kurt to lay next to him. “You okay?”

Kurt shifts so that he is on his side, facing Blaine. Blaine does the same, staring at him intently.

“I don’t know,” he says. “Are you?”

Blaine shrugs. “No longer thirsty,” he says. “Your water is on the nightstand, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Kurt says, making no move to get it. He watches Blaine for a while, looking over that beautiful face. He thinks about his gorgeous body, something he spends far too much time thinking about despite how subpar the things he’s done with that body have felt.

He knows there’s more to it. He knows there’s something they’re missing, something they’re doing wrong.

It doesn’t make sense for a couple who’s been together for less than three months to already have a month-long dry spell. It doesn’t make sense for two healthy, sexually experienced, allosexual men to be having such mediocre sex.

It doesn’t make sense for _Kurt and Blaine_ to be having such mediocre sex.

Blaine licks his lips, then says, “I know you want to talk about it.”

Kurt meets his eyes, and swallows thickly. He nods once, briefly. “Dr. Pillsbury said we should.”

“Do you think we should do it just because Dr. Pillsbury said we should?”

Kurt shakes his head. “I think we should do it because we deserve to hear each other’s thoughts on the matter. And we deserve to find out if this is just the way things are, or if there’s a way to make things better.”

Blaine stares at him again, lips pressed tightly together. Then, quietly, he says, “Do you think that we’re having good, average sex, but it seems bad because of our expectations of it?”

Although Kurt knows they’ve been thinking the same thing, talking about the same thing, hearing Blaine confirm it fills him with relief.

“Maybe,” Kurt says. “I will admit, the expectations were pretty high.”

Blaine ducks his head, smiling softly. “For me, too,” he says. Then he rolls his eyes a little and says, “Obviously.”

“I don’t think that’s the only thing, though,” Kurt admits. “I mean, it’s definitely part of it. I don’t know about you, but I was expecting we would get together and suddenly it would just be the most incredible sex I’d ever had, and we’d click on every level, and want the same things and _know_ what the other wants without asking and…” he shakes his head, trailing off, not even sure where he’s going with this.

Blaine chuckles, and Kurt raises an eyebrow. “So, basically, you just solved our problem.”

Kurt frowns. “What?”

Blaine widens his eyes a little, lips curving up ever so slightly. “Miscommunication,” he says. “We didn’t talk about our expectations. We didn’t talk about what we like in bed, our past experiences, things we don’t like. We just assumed we’d be on the same wavelength, just like we have for basically everything else in this relationship, and obviously the rest of the relationship hasn’t been doing so hot on that assumption, so why would this?”

Kurt stares, eyes wide in surprise at how logical everything that just came out of Blaine’s mouth is. “Um. Wow. That’s…”

“Yeah,” Blaine says. “Miscommunication is kind of our thing, isn’t it?”

Kurt scoffs. “That’s an understatement.” He moves his eyes over Blaine’s face, so thankful to see him still smiling, eyes still soft, not a single hint of insecurity in his eyes. “So, what do we do about it?”

Blaine shrugs. “We talk, I guess. About our expectations, our experiences, our desires. For all we know, we have totally clashing expectations regarding sex. We might not even like the same stuff.”

Kurt nods, then, quietly says, “Before we do, though, can I say something?”

“Of course,” Blaine says, placing his hand in the middle of the bed. Kurt smiles at him and takes it. His heart speeds up a little, knowing this means they’re entering serious conversation territory if Blaine wants this point of connection.

“No matter what we say today,” Kurt says, making sure to keep his hold on Blaine’s hand loose enough that Blaine knows nothing is wrong, “I want you to know that none of this is a deal breaker for me. If it turns out, after all our conversation, that we’re just incompatible in bed… that’s not going to affect my feelings for you. I love you, and our sex life isn’t going to change that.”

“Thank you for saying that,” Blaine says, voice soft. “The same goes for me. I mean,” he gestures vaguely between them. “Obviously, since we’ve been dating for less than three months, and have already had a month-long dry patch because we’ve both been avoiding how terrible our sex is.”

Kurt can’t help but chuckle at that. “I wasn’t… avoiding it, per se.”

“But you weren’t pushing for it, either,” Blaine says, and Kurt shrugs, nodding his admittance. “It’s okay, I haven’t been either. Not since the last time, when…”

“Oh, god,” Kurt says, unable to keep the silly smile from spreading across his face. “That was _bad_ , wasn’t it?”

“Not the worst we’ve had,” Blaine says. Then, he winces. “God, that sounded terrible. I don’t want it to sound like—"

“No, Blaine, don’t do that,” Kurt says. “I want us to be honest, even if it might hurt. This isn’t a fun conversation, but… I mean, we need to have it. For the sake of our relationship.”

“For the sake of our sex life,” Blaine says. “Because, if we’re being honest, I can’t imagine that we’re actually doomed to a life of terrible sex if we stay together. I… I don’t know about you, but while I’ve never had like, mind-altering, life-changing sex with any one person, I’ve never consistently had bad sex either.”

“Me neither,” Kurt says.

“Exactly. So, I can’t imagine we won’t be able to figure this out. With a little communication…”

“And our famous four R’s,” Kurt reminds, and Blaine chuckles.

“Can’t forget the four R’s!” he says. He smiles, then scoots forward, taking Kurt’s cheek in hand and pressing their lips together firmly. Kurt kisses back easily.

As he said before, this part is always good.

When they pull apart, Kurt turns his face into Blaine’s palm, wanting to keep it there a little longer. Their hands are still connected between them, a little squished now that they’re lying closer together. Kurt opens his eyes and says, “This doesn’t have to suck unless we let it suck.”

Blaine raises an eyebrow at that, and then says, “Actually, that can be a great segue into our first stop of this conversation. Expectations?”

“How is that a great segue?”

Blaine’s cheeks darken a little, and he looks down at their linked hands. When he speaks, though, it’s firm, albeit a little quiet. “I was, uh. Thinking about how careful you’ve been with me, when we’re together. And how I don’t need you to be.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, eyes widening. “Oh, wow. Um. Sorry?”

“No, don’t… We should make a rule that we don’t need to apologize for any of what is said in the next hour, or two, or however long we talk about this. I’m not saying these things because I want an apology. I think we’ll come to find we are equally at fault for what’s been going wrong.” Blaine smiles a little, meeting Kurt’s eyes, though still blushing deeply. “I just thought of that when you said ‘suck’ because, well, while we haven’t actually done that,” Kurt blushes a little himself, thinking about how many times he’s thought about blowing Blaine, but how he’s never followed through with it yet, “I just know you’d be as careful with me as you’ve been with other things, and I really, really don’t want you to be with that.”

“Oh, my god, Blaine,” Kurt says, chuckling and tilting his head to the side to press a kiss to Blaine’s palm. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Maybe,” Blaine says. “But that was just one example of the expectations I think we’re bringing into the relationship.” Blaine swallows thickly, then says, “Kurt, I know I’m younger than you, but you don’t have to treat me delicately in bed. I may not be as sexually experienced as you, but I do have a decent amount of experience. I want you to treat me equally, in bed, not like someone you need to protect.”

Kurt nods pensively. Honestly, he hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it, but now that Blaine mentions it, over a dozen examples of when he’s done it come to mind. Including, he remembers, embarrassed, their first time together, when he’d basically held Blaine’s hand through fingering him. _Yikes_ , he thinks, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“I didn’t even realize I was doing that,” Kurt says, wanting to be honest. “But I definitely have, and I’m going to try and stop. If I don’t, though, can you remind me? I know that’s tough for you,” he says quickly when Blaine opens his mouth to protest. “But even just an intoned ‘Kurt’ will get me to back off. Please? I don’t want you to feel like a kid when we’re together.”

“I’ll try,” Blaine says. “As long as you promise to actually try stopping.”

“I promise,” Kurt says. He then continues with, “Sorry, I need to sidetrack for a second, and I know it’s going into a different category, but I just need to say this before I forget.” Blaine looks at him with a furrowed brow and pressed lips, head tilting slightly to the side. “I think you’re seriously overestimating the number of sexual partners I’ve had.”

Blaine’s eyes widen. “Oh.”

“It really hasn’t been that many,” Kurt says. “I know you told me once that you felt I hooked up all the time, but off the top of my head I can only think of maybe four or five one night stands I’ve had. And I don’t mean that I can’t remember the rest because I was drunk, I mean that’s legitimately it.”

“Wow,” Blaine says. “God, maybe my mind was just exaggerating things because I was jealous, but I could have sworn that Tina told me once that you hooked up basically every weekend.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “If that’s true, I need to have words with Tina, because that definitely wasn’t the case. Now,” he raises his free hand to his face, tapping his nose with his index finger, “I will admit that I’ve had several casual relationships, most of which didn’t last longer than a month or two, but a lot of those didn’t even become sexual. I really haven’t been around as much as you seem to think I have.”

Blaine nods, and quietly says, “Thank you for telling me, Kurt. I don’t…” he looks away for a moment, trailing off, then looks back. “I knew what I was getting into when we started dating. Still, though,” Blaine continues softly, “You have to know that I have still had considerably less sex than you, and I’m a little insecure about that. Which is, I think, why when you treat me like I’m some bumbling virgin who needs to be taught the ropes…”

“That insecurity is brought to the forefront,” Kurt finishes for him. Then, he winces. “Sorry, I shouldn’t put words in your mouth.”

“This time it was okay, since that’s exactly what I was going to say.”

“Fuck, I know you don’t want me to say it, but I’m sorry Blaine. That… that’s definitely a factor in our not great sex.”

“Well, for me,” Blaine says. “But you know now, and we can work on it.” Blaine licks his lips and then asks, “What about you? What’s an expectation you had about our sex life that hasn’t measured up?”

“I think my main one was what I mentioned earlier,” Kurt says, shrugging a little. “The idea that we’d just click and be amazing together. That you’d automatically know what I want, and that I’d automatically know what you want. Which,” he shakes his head, briefly sucking in the inside of his cheek, “you’ve obviously just proven that I didn’t.”

Blaine nods slowly, then says, “To be fair, I assumed that about our entire relationship.”

“Still,” Kurt says. “Doesn’t excuse it. I should have asked you what you wanted before we jumped into the sexual side of things. I should have told you what I wanted. We should have talked about it.” He blushes and says, “We probably should have gotten tested before jumping into bed together.”

“Oh,” Blaine says, eyes widening. “I actually did get tested, the day after we officially got together.”

“Really?” Kurt asks. “Why didn’t you ever show me the results?”

“Well, they didn’t come until after the first time we slept together. We used a condom, and my results were all negative, so I figured it was fine.”

Kurt chews his bottom lip. “I got tested about six months ago, and I was clean, so I guess I didn’t even think about it. I should do it again, though, to be safe.”

“Safe is always the most important word when it comes to sex.”

Kurt smiles at that, and shoves Blaine’s shoulder lightly, saying, “You dork.”

Blaine goes with it, rolling onto his back as though Kurt’s shove did it. Their hands untangle, but Blaine quickly moves the hand previously cupping Kurt’s cheek and takes Kurt’s hand again.

“You’re the one dating me,” Blaine teases back, and Kurt chuckles.

“No regrets,” Kurt replies, moving himself so that he is also lying on his back. He then tilts his head, so he can still see Blaine. Blaine does it as well, and they smile at each other.

“This is going much better than our last discussion,” Blaine says, and Kurt grins.

“Dr. Pillsbury will be proud of us,” he replies, and Blaine chuckles. Kurt licks his lips, then, and asks, “Is there any other expectations you want to mention before we move on?”

Blaine sucks on his bottom lip, eyes becoming hesitant, and Kurt instantly knows the answer. “Do you?” is how Blaine responds.

“Yeah,” Kurt says. “But it’s kind of more related to my past experience, so I was going to say something later.”

“Can you say it now?” Blaine asks, one eye wincing shut. “I think I’ll feel better about having two things if you have two as well.”

Kurt presses his lips together for a second, then says, “Blaine, I’m sure we have more than two each.”

Blaine’s eyes widen. “Do you have more than two?”

“Well, not that I can think of now, but I’m sure the next time we have sex one of us will do something, and suddenly we’ll remember ‘oh yeah, I hate that.’” Kurt tightens Blaine’s hand lightly when he sees the worried look in Blaine’s eye. “You have my complete permission to stop any love making activities if I do something you don’t like, by the way.”

Blaine swallows thickly. “I don’t know that I could.”

“Blaine, I insist that you do,” Kurt replies. “If not, we’ll just keep going around in the same circle. The point of this conversation is to have better sex when we’re done, not to just hope for the best.”

Blaine nods. “Okay. Again, I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises. Not right away, anyway.”

“All right. That sounds fair to me.”

Blaine stares at him for a few moments after he’s finished speaking, then says, “Okay, well, are you going to tell me about the other expectation you had about our sex life? I’m kind of dying.”

“Oh, my god, I’m sorry,” Kurt says. “I got distracted. Okay, well,” he turns so he’s half on his side, facing Blaine more fully. “To be honest, I don’t usually have as much anal sex as we’ve been having.”

Blaine’s eyebrows raise at that, clearly surprised. “But we’ve only had anal sex like, ten times in three months.”

“Well, yeah, but we’ve also only had sex ten times in three months. And either way, ten times in three months is still way more than I’ve ever done with any previous boyfriend,” Kurt shrugs, knowing this could be their big incompatibility, but pushes forward anyway. “It’s just not that big a deal for me. I don’t have this feeling like sex isn’t sex unless there’s penetration.”

“Wow,” Blaine says, eyes wide.

“Also,” Kurt says, mouth stretching a little, unsure about even saying this part, “it’s not that big a deal, but when I _do_ do anal sex, I usually prefer to be… on top. Like, the top.”

Blaine frowns. “Really?” he asks. “But, Kurt, our first time _you_ were the one who insisted I fuck you. You made all the moves for that. You basically walked me through fingering you.”

“Yeah, I know, but that was…” He runs a hand over his face. “See, this is what I’m saying about our communication. So, our first time, I wanted to show you that I felt safe and comfortable with you, which is why I wanted to do anal with you on top. So you’d know how much I trust you. _But_ , you and I have never had any discussions about our sexual preferences in the past, so how the hell would you know that both those things are unusual for me? That they show I trust you?” He shakes his head. “Christ.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Blaine says. “I was just confused, but now that you explain it, it makes sense.” He shifts a little bit closer to Kurt. He smiles a little, and says, “Can I tell you something?”

“Always,” Kurt replies.

“I actually usually bottom during anal,” Blaine says. “That was what I was going to tell you before. Topping all the time has… kind of taken it out of me.”

Kurt presses his lips together, trying not to laugh. “Seriously?”

“What can I say?” Blaine says. “I like it when my partner does most of the work. I’m kind of lazy in bed. Surprise?”

This time Kurt can’t help but laugh. “Blaine!”

“What?” Blaine sounds scandalized. “I’m just speaking my truth.”

“Oh, my god,” Kurt says, still laughing. “You’re so ridiculous.”

“Well, my ridiculousness actually makes us more compatible in bed, so don’t complain,” Blaine says, sticking his tongue out. When he pulls it back in, though, he pauses, teasing fading from his face. “I will admit, though, that I really do enjoy anal sex. Maybe not every time, but…”

“Hey,” Kurt says, shifting fully onto his side and putting his free hand over the other hand holding Blaine’s. “It’s okay. I’m kind of surprised one of our revelations matched up. And honestly, I sort of expected that we wouldn’t agree about this.”

“But what does this mean, for us? You don’t like anal sex and I do.”

“I never said I didn’t like anal sex,” Kurt responds. “Just that I don’t do it very much. I don’t find it necessary. It seems like a lot of prep has to go into it, when you can just as easily get off orally or with handjobs, or whatever. Plus…” he looks away briefly, scrunching his nose. “Sorry, this is really gross.”

“No, tell me, come on.”

“Well,” he says, entire face scrunching up, remembering the horror of the moment. “The second time I did anal with Adam, when I pulled out there was like… shit on my dick.” He shivers at the memory.

Blaine bursts out laughing at that, hiding his face in the pillow as he does.

Kurt’s face becomes incredibly serious. “Blaine, this is not a joke. I don’t mean something I didn’t recognize, I mean literal shit. There was shit on my dick.”

“Kurt!” Blaine says, still laughing really hard. “That’s so normal!”

Kurt’s face must reflect how utterly disgusted he is to hear that, because Blaine buries his face back into the pillow, entire body shaking with the force of his laughter.

Kurt watches as Blaine laughs, wanting to be unimpressed, but unable to supress his grin as he watches his boyfriend writhe in laughter.

Finally, Blaine removes his face from the pillow, and Kurt sees that his eyes are watery. He raises an eyebrow, and Blaine snorts.

“I’m sorry, Kurt,” Blaine says. “I know you’re being totally serious, but that’s… that’s normal. That’s really normal. Almost every time I’ve had anal sex there’s been some manner of fecal matter involved.”

“Fecal… Blaine, it’s shit. On my dick.” Kurt says. “That sounds normal to you?”

“Well, Kurt, what do you think assholes are usually used for?” Blaine asks. “Come on, you’re not always going to clear everything out.” He raises his eyebrows and asks, “You think there’s never been shit on my dick after _we’ve_ had anal sex?”

“Oh, my god, no!” Kurt says, eyes wide, absolutely horrified. “But I’ve been so careful!”

“Yeah, but you can’t grab everything, especially when things are spontaneous. Oh, come on,” Blaine says, moving closer to Kurt, putting a hand on his arm. “Kurt, it’s fine! I told you, it’s normal!”

“Okay, well, I am not a fan,” Kurt says, sniffing haughtily. Blaine keeps smiling, and Kurt just glares.

Blaine then chuckles, and says, “Can we compromise?”

Kurt keeps his eyes narrowed, but says, “Perhaps…”

“If we’re planning on having anal sex, I will always bottom, and I will make sure that I am extremely clean. If I’m hoping spontaneous anal sex will happen, and I want to bottom, I will make sure I am extremely clean. And if we have spontaneous anal sex, and I haven’t had time to prepare, _you_ bottom.”

Kurt’s eyes un-narrow slightly, though he’s still unsure. “There will still be shit on your dick, though.”

“I told you, Kurt, that’s normal. That’s kind of why we’ve got condoms.” He tightens his hand in Kurt’s, and Kurt feels himself relax slightly at the action. “Trust me, Kurt, I don’t mind. I promise, it’s really very normal.”

“Well, you may not mind, but I kind of do, so, I think our compromise is going to have to include the caveat that anal sex will probably not be happening as often as you’d like it to.”

Blaine chuckles and nods. “That’s okay. As long as it isn’t off the table all together, because I do really enjoy it.”

“I do, too, when I’m in the mood. I promise, it’s definitely not totally off the table.” He tightens his hold on Blaine’s hand slightly, so Blaine knows how serious he is.

Blaine squeezes his hand back, and then chuckles again and says, “How is it that you’ve had so much more sex than me, and you didn’t realize that a little bit of fecal matter is normal during anal sex?”

Kurt scoffs, recognizing the teasing nature of Blaine’s jab, and plays along. “I told you, I don’t have it that often! I was really put off that one time, and since then I’ve learned to enjoy the pleasures of non-anal activities.” He glares at Blaine playfully, then lets his face transform into the most smoldering smirk he can muster. “I promise that in time you will, too.”

Blaine smiles at him, and Kurt doesn’t think it’s possible to love a person more than he loves this man. “I know I will,” Blaine says, scooting forward and pressing their lips together.

Kurt kisses back briefly, then pulls away and says, “Blaine, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not feeling very sexy right now.”

Blaine bursts out laughing, forehead resting against Kurt’s, and asks, “What, the shit on the dick talk wasn’t doing it for you?”

“I hate you,” Kurt says, going to roll away.

Blaine continues laughing, but pulls a hand out and brings Kurt back in. He wraps his arms around Kurt, pulling him into a slightly awkward, laying down hug, that quickly turns to spooning. Kurt shifts so that he’s facing slightly away from Blaine, head resting on his shoulder, eyes up at the ceiling. Blaine is still laughing softly, but he keeps pressing kisses to Kurt’s forehead which makes him feel a little better about being teased.

When Blaine finally calms down, he says, “I think we only have one docket left on our list.”

Kurt nods. “Past experience.”

Clearly sensing Kurt’s hesitance, Blaine says, “It should be easy, right? I mean, we’ve been around for most of it.”

Kurt presses his lips together, then says, “I feel like you know more about mine than I do about yours.” He turns his head so he can see Blaine, who is furrowing his brow in confusion. “I mean, there were several periods of our life where you wouldn’t speak to me about any boyfriends you might have, or any guys you were hooking up with.”

“Right,” Blaine says, pulling Kurt closer to him. “Well, to be fair, I was trying to keep you separate from that part of my life. I had a real problem with either using guys to get over you or comparing guys to you. I thought if you didn’t know about them, I would stop doing that.” Blaine shakes his head. “Which was stupid, because obviously I kept on doing it until Trent anyway.”

Kurt sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, then asks, “Did you sleep with anyone between Trent and me?”

Blaine meets his eye and then, softly, shakes his head. “I told you,” he says. “I wanted to be fully over you before getting into another relationship, or even just jumping into bed with someone else. Obviously, I never was.”

“I’m really thankful for that, you know,” Kurt says.

Blaine smiles. “I know. Me, too.”

Kurt nods, then says, “Okay, so I know about Jeremiah and Trent, and that’s literally it. You’re too hot to have only been with two guys, though, so I know there’s got to be more.”

“There are, but not that many,” Blaine says. “After Jeremiah I went out with this guy named Eli until I moved to New York, but it wasn’t very serious. I didn’t date anybody seriously until Trent, actually. I had a few flings my first few years in New York, after you rejected me. Mostly just two or three-month relationships. I didn’t even sleep with most of them, to be honest. I always wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing it for the wrong reason, and most of the time I would realize that I was, so I didn’t go through with it. Then, Trent, obviously, and… well, you.”

“Wow,” Kurt says, licking his lips. “I… I really was expecting there’d be more.”

“Well, dating is a little tough when you’ve been in love with the same guy since you were thirteen,” Blaine says. “That wasn’t meant to be a dig, by the way,” he quickly adds. “I’m just stating a fact.”

“I know,” Kurt says. “Still… I guess I never realized how much this really held you back.”

“Not dating a lot didn’t hold me back,” Blaine says. “Kurt, I don’t think that’s all there is to life. I have a really fulfilling career, and amazing friends. I’m on _Broadway_ , Kurt. I don’t feel held back at all.”

“Jeez, but still.” Kurt licks his lips, then turns fully in Blaine’s arms so that they are completely facing each other. “Does it bother you that I’ve been with more guys than you?”

Blaine shakes his head instantly. “It did for a long time, but not anymore.”

“What changed?”

“Honestly?” Kurt nods. “For a long time I was upset because I felt that it was unfair. You knew I liked you, and even if you didn’t like me back I didn’t get why you had to date other people. Wouldn’t it be nicer, to me, if you just didn’t?” Blaine snorts. “How ridiculous is that?” He shakes his head again. “Anyway, a few years ago I realized I was still holding onto this weird, high school delusion that you dating other people was unfair to me. You didn’t like me back, which wasn’t your fault, and you had no reason to hold yourself back because of me.”

“Blaine, I—”

“So, no, it doesn’t bother me. I was the one who couldn’t turn my feelings off, not you. Why should you have to put your life on pause because I couldn’t get mine together?”

“God, I’m sorry,” Kurt says.

Blaine shakes his head yet again. “Don’t be. I’m serious, Kurt,” he says, finding Kurt’s hand and gripping it tightly. “None of this is your fault, and I genuinely have no negative feelings about it. I know you have more experience than me, and it makes sense.” He squeezes Kurt’s hand again, then says, “I don’t see my feelings for you as something that put me at a disadvantage. They led me to the best relationship I’ve ever been in, after all.”

“Best relationship?” Kurt shakes his head. “Yeah, right. Because our fighting and miscommunication and terrible sex has all added up to an amazing relationship.”

“Well, considering all my past relationships involved me mainly using guys to get over you… yeah, this is the best relationship I’ve ever been in.” He smiles up at Kurt, then says, “The healthiest, too.”

“But we—”

“Kurt, we just spent the last hour working through our issues with sex, and have been attending couples therapy for two weeks, something both of us are committed to. Trust me, this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in.”

Kurt licks his lips, thinking back on _his_ previous relationships, and realizes, “Me, too.”

“Oh, come on, Kurt. You don’t have to say it just because I did.”

“I mean it, though!” Kurt replies. “Look, Chandler was obviously a mess. Adam was okay, but it was never as deep as I wanted to think it was. Sebastian wasn’t even a relationship, and Cody was…” he shivers a little, thinking about that fiasco. “Well, you know what happened with Cody. The few flings I had weren’t about anything other than sex, either, and Elliott and I had major communication issues. So, yeah, healthiest relationship, right here.”

“We have major communication issues, too,” Blaine whispers, and Kurt instantly tightens his hold on his hand.

“But we’re working on ours, Blaine. Elliott and I didn’t even acknowledge them.” He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to Blaine’s lips. “I promise, I’m not just saying this to make you feel better, Blaine. This really is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in.”

Blaine’s face breaks out into a huge grin, and he whispers, “Cool.”

Kurt’s jaw drops, and he teasingly says, “Cool? I bear my soul to you, and all you can say is _cool_?”

Blaine continues to grin. “Cool beans?”

“Oh, my god,” Kurt laughs.

“Righteous?”

“Stop!”

“Dope?”

Kurt throws his head back as he laughs, and he can hear Blaine laughing as well. “You’re incorrigible,” Kurt says.

Blaine shrugs, the grin still wide on his face. “You love me.”

Kurt nods easily, leans forward and kisses Blaine softly on the lips. “I do love you.”

They kiss lazily for a few moments, neither making a move to deepen the kiss. When they separate, Blaine asks, “Is there still some of that red velvet ice cream in your freezer?”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “If there was, would you want some?”

“Hell yes, I’d want some.”

He leans forward and kisses Blaine again, a gentle peck this time. “More than you’d want to stay here in bed, with your dope boyfriend?”

Blaine raises an eyebrow and says, “I’m not exactly feeling super sexy here either, Kurt.”

Kurt laughs. “Ha! The shit on the dick stuff gets to you too!”

“Kurt!” Blaine laughs as well, pushing Kurt away gently. “I told you that’s—”

“Nope, you’ve admitted it. It’s gross and unnatural, admit it!”

“It’s not unnatural, it’s—”

As Blaine starts to talk, Kurt slips off the bed and starts to run into the kitchen. He hears Blaine laughing behind him, and the sound of his feet hitting the floor.

“You sneak! I’m going to get some of that ice cream!”

“Not if I eat it all first, shit lover!”

“Ew, Kurt!” Blaine calls, though it barely comes out with how hard he’s laughing. Kurt laughs as well, hurrying into the kitchen and throwing the freezer door open.

He’s just wrapped his hand around the ice cream when he feels Blaine press up against him, leaning his head on his shoulder blades.

“Caught you,” Blaine whispers. “Now you have to share.”

Kurt chuckles and turns around, closing the freezer door as he does. He holds the ice cream carton between the two of them and raises an eyebrow. “Two spoons?”

“I’m going to eat more than you,” Blaine challenges, and Kurt laughs.

“Oh, sweet Blaine,” Kurt replies, turning back around and pulling two spoons out of his cutlery drawer. “You wish.”

**July 28 th, 2024**

Blaine is exhausted when he arrives at Kurt’s apartment after his show. He’s adorably sweaty, too, with his curls coming loose of their gel. Kurt tuts as he walks over to him, placing the salad bowl on the table.

“Why do you even bother in the summer?” he asks, bringing a hand up to Blaine’s hair. Blaine sighs as Kurt twirls a curl around a finger.

“I just like to show the people who wait at the stage door that I’m not the same as the character I play on stage.”

“Well, gosh I would hope not,” Kurt says. “Otherwise you and I being in a relationship would be really strange, straight man.”

Blaine chuckles a little. “I do think I’m going to stop showering right after the show, though,” he says. “At least until it’s a little cooler around here. I’m always so sweaty I need to shower again by the time I get home.”

Kurt smiles, leaning one hand on Blaine’s shoulder, then says, “I know you didn’t mean it this way, but I kind of love hearing you call my apartment ‘home.’”

Blaine ducks his head, and Kurt can see red rising in his cheeks. “Actually,” Blaine says, “I did mean it that way.”

Kurt’s heart jumps in his chest, and he leans forward and presses a kiss to Blaine’s lips. Blaine responds in kind, hands going to Kurt’s waist and pulling him closer.

Blaine’s tongue dips out to run over Kurt’s lips, and Kurt opens his mouth eagerly. He knows he should be disgusted by how sweaty Blaine is, but somehow the salty smell just seems to turn him on more.

“Hey, uh,” Kurt begins, pulling away slightly. “I know we weren’t feeling very sexy yesterday, but…”

“I’m feeling sexier today,” Blaine replies, and Kurt grins. Blaine nods over Kurt’s shoulder, toward the table. “What about supper?”

“Fuck supper,” Kurt replies, pulling Blaine back into a kiss.

Blaine groans into the kiss, and squeezes Kurt’s hips tightly. “Bedroom?” he asks against Kurt’s mouth.

Kurt nods, and starts to back him up toward it. Blaine stumbles a little, and breaks the kiss, giving Kurt a level look. “I think I’ll still feel sexy if we don’t kiss our way to your room.”

“Good call,” Kurt says, then wraps his hand around Blaine’s write and pulls him into the bedroom.

As soon as they’re in the room, Kurt closes the door and pushes Blaine onto the bed. Blaine shuffles back, kicking his shoes off as he goes. Kurt follows suit, toeing out of his slippers before he climbs onto the bed and onto Blaine.

Blaine pushes himself up onto his elbows so he and Kurt can go back to making out. Kurt takes charge, commanding the kiss and fucking Blaine’s mouth with his tongue. Blaine seems to melt under Kurt’s touch, relaxing into the demanding kiss. Kurt laps at his tongue, and Blaine whimpers a little.

Kurt breaks the kiss so that he can reach down and pull Blaine’s polo over his head. Blaine raises his arms eagerly, then reaches forward and goes for Kurt’s shirt as well.

When they’re both lying shirtless on the bed, Kurt straddling Blaine’s lap, staring down at him heatedly, Blaine asks, “What do you want to do?”

Kurt instantly grins. “I want to blow your mind.”

Blaine raises a teasing eyebrow, and asks, “Are you going to do that by blowing other parts of me?”

Kurt responds by raising his own eyebrow, smirking slightly, and reaching down to undo Blaine’s jeans. Blaine groans as he falls onto his back, head hitting the pillow with a gentle _thump_. Kurt chuckles as he lowers Blaine’s zipper, and then pulls his jeans and underwear down in one go.

Although Blaine isn’t fully hard yet, Kurt can see him hardening under Kurt’s gaze. He remembers the first time he saw Blaine’s cock, thick and gorgeous, and how his mouth had absolutely salivated.

He’d held off, though, because he thought that was what Blaine would want. Then, the next time, he held off again. The next time, as well. And the next.

He’s tired of holding back.

“Just so we’re on the same page,” Kurt says, unable to tear his eyes away from Blaine’s dick, which is now completely hard and bobbing against Blaine’s stomach. “I fucking love doing this, but I want you to tell me how to do it so that _you_ love me doing it to you. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Blaine says. “Maybe just… start slow? Somehow these last two minutes feel more intense than all the sex we’ve had before now.”

“I bet I know why that is,” Kurt replies, managing to flick his eyes up to Blaine’s. He smiles when he sees the blush on his cheeks, then moves down Blaine’s body, lowering himself so that he’s eye-level with his dick.

He licks his lips at the sight of it so close, and then leans forward and laps gently at the tip.

“Oh, god, Kurt,” Blaine says, and Kurt feels his hand reaching back to grab hold of his nape. Kurt continues to kitten lick around the spongy head, and Blaine’s fingers move up into his hair, gripping it slightly. “Do you mind?” he barely hears Blaine ask. “If you don’t want me to touch your hair—”

“I like it,” Kurt promises, licking down a nice-looking vein that runs from the tip of Blaine’s cock all the way down. He buries his face a little in the tiny thatch of pubic hair around the base, and licks tentatively at Blaine’s balls.

“Fuck,” Blaine says. “Kurt, I know I said to start slow, but I really am not going to last. Can you just—”

“Oh, hell yeah,” Kurt replies, then moves up and sucks the head of Blaine’s cock into his mouth.

It feels just as perfect as Kurt knew it would. He takes as much into his mouth as he can, wrapping his hand around the rest, and then starts to bob.

“Fuck,” Blaine repeats, voice sounding absolutely wrecked. “Fuck, Kurt.” His hand tightens in Kurt’s hair, but makes no move to help Kurt along.

Kurt is thankful for that, and so pulls off and says, “Thanks for not pushing my head down. My gag reflex never fully went away, so face fucking isn’t—”

“Kurt, all this communication is really, really hot, and I’m so happy we can talk now, but _oh my god please get back down there_.”

Kurt grins and chuckles a little. “Damn,” he says. “Bossy.”

“ _Kurt_.”

As much as Kurt would love to keep teasing Blaine, he also hasn’t had nearly enough of sucking him off. He leans back down and takes him back in his mouth. He begins to move up and down, letting his lips drag over the skin of Blaine’s dick, silky smooth in his mouth.

Suddenly, Blaine seems to freeze under him and he says, “No teeth!”

Kurt frowns, and pulls off, looking up at Blaine, confused. “What?”

“Sorry,” Blaine says, covering his face with his hand. “Trent used to – when he did that, he liked to scrape his teeth over my…” he shakes his head. “It felt bad, I didn’t like it. Sorry, this is so bad, who brings up their ex in the middle of –”

“Blaine, it’s okay,” Kurt says, pumping the hand still around Blaine’s dick gently. “I told you to tell me if there’s something you don’t like. You’re in luck, too, because I hate teeth being involved in blowjobs,” he wiggles his eyebrows a little, and Blaine groans. “Anything else?”

“No,” Blaine groans again. “Oh, actually, I’m really close.”

“Awesome,” Kurt replies, and goes right back into it.

It doesn’t seem to last much longer after that. Kurt bobs his head up and down Blaine’s tick, twisting his fist around the base and pumping it in time with the movements of his head. Blaine’s noises become more erratic and frantic, until he can feel him fighting not to thrust up into Kurt’s mouth.

Kurt grins around his dick, then brings his free hand down to roll Blaine’s balls gently.

Blaine practically shouts above him and says, “Kurt, I’m going to—”

Kurt moves his mouth back to the head and sucks hard. Within seconds Blaine is coming, and Kurt does his very best to swallow as much of it as he can. A little dribbles down to his chin, but honestly, it just turns him on more.

By now, his dick feels absolutely caged in his jeans. He grinds against the bed lightly, not wanting to come from just this. He waits until Blaine shifts his hips away from him before pulling off, licking at the little bit of come that didn’t get in his mouth.

“God, I didn’t even ask you—”

“I like it,” Kurt promises. “Trust me. I like it a lot.”

Blaine nods, then glances down at Kurt’s middle, raising an eyebrow as he does. “Want some help with that?”

Kurt licks his swollen lips, and instantly nods. “Yes, please.”

Blaine giggles and says, “So polite,” before grabbing Kurt tightly by the hips, and flipping their positions.

Sometimes Kurt forgets how damn strong Blaine is.

Blaine is instantly lowering himself to Kurt’s crotch. He undoes Kurt’s jeans and shoves them off with only a little difficulty. The underwear is easier, and Kurt feels himself sigh in relief as his erection is freed.

“Oh, one thing,” Blaine says, licking his lips, eyes on Kurt’s dick. Kurt wonders if Blaine felt this turned on when he was staring at _him_ so intently. “The gag reflex thing?” Blaine’s eyes meet his ever so briefly, and Kurt’s heart skips a beat at the dangerous smirk on Blaine’s lips. “Totally not a problem for me.”

And just like that, he leans down and swallows Kurt’s dick all the way to the base.

“Holy fuck!” Kurt shouts, hands tightening around his blanket. Blaine’s mouth is warm and slick, and he can feel his throat spasming ever so slightly around him. “Fuck, Blaine!”

He can feel Blaine smile around him, and his hips go up of their own volition. Not that there’s really anywhere else for his dick to go.

Blaine pulls off for a moment, and says, “Remember how I told you not to treat me like I’m delicate?”

Kurt’s eyes widen, remembering the exact words Blaine had said on this issue the previous night.

Blaine grins, and says, “You can fuck my mouth.”

Kurt’s eyes practically roll back into his head as Blaine says that, and he can hear himself say something entirely incoherent as Blaine takes him back into his mouth.

He raises his hips carefully, a test, and feels Blaine groan around him. Kurt’s eyes shut, and he holds onto his blanket tighter before he thrusts a little more forcefully into Blaine’s mouth.

Blaine seems to enjoy it, if the humming around his dick is any indication, and Kurt does so again.

Soon, Blaine has matched the rhythm of his mouth to the movements of Kurt’s hips, and Kurt is gripping his blanket so tight his fists are white. He feels right on the edge, and every bob of Blaine’s head, every lick of his tongue, bring shim closer and closer.

“Blaine,” he says, voice hoarse. “I’m close, Blaine.”

Blaine hums around his cock again, letting him know he heard him, then ever so slowly pulls his lips all the way up Kurt’s dick, before letting it out of his mouth with a slick _pop_ and wrapping his hand around it instead.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine says, pumping Kurt gently. “I can’t swallow. The taste—”

“It’s fine,” Kurt says, moving his hips into Blaine’s hand. “It’s fine, just – tighter, please?”

Blaine tightens his grip and Kurt groans. He flicks his wrist as his fist surrounds just the tip of Kurt’s cock, and Kurt can feel his balls tighten as he starts to come.

He feels breathless by the time he’s coming down, Blaine still carefully taking him through it. He whispers a quiet, “Sensitive,” and Blaine lets him go gently. He then climbs up to where Kurt is lying and falls onto his back beside him.

“Wow,” Blaine says.

“Yeah,” Kurt replies.

“Was that…” he can feel Blaine’s eyes on him, “was that good for you, too? Because holy shit, Kurt.”

“Oh, yes,” Kurt agrees. “I still haven’t – my brain doesn’t seem to work.”

Blaine laughs, and cuddles into Kurt’s side. “So definitely good, then?”

“Fuck, Blaine,” Kurt says, tilting his head over so he can see Blaine’s face. “So, _so_ good.”

“Thank god,” Blaine says, smiling up at him. “It was amazing for me, too.”

“Communication. Who knew?”

“Dr. Pillsbury,” Blaine says cheekily, and Kurt groans.

“Blaine, don’t talk about our therapist when we’re naked.”

Blaine laughs, then asks, “Hey, what’s worse? Mentioning our therapist while we’re naked, or talking about my ex-boyfriend’s blowjob technique while my current boyfriend blows me?”

Kurt gives Blaine a soft kiss on the forehead. “Normally both would be big no-no’s, but since the second was to tell me something that would make you enjoy our sex less, I’ll forgive it.”

“How kind,” Blaine replies, snuggling closer into Kurt.

They fall into a brief silence, and Kurt smiles as he brings his arm around Blaine’s body and pulls him closer.

“You were right, by the way,” Blaine says after a few moments, breaking the silence.

Kurt frowns. “About what?”

“About being able to feel totally connected and intimate with someone without having to do anal,” Blaine replies. “Because that was… wow.”

“I knew I’d convert you,” Kurt says, smiling softly. “Though, to be fair, I think this time had a lot to do with actually talking to each other rather than just jumping into it.”

“Yeah, but still.” Blaine looks up at Kurt, and they hold their gaze in silence for a second. “I wish this had been our first time,” Blaine continues.

Kurt smiles and says, “Oh, you didn’t know? It was.”

“Kurt,” Blaine says, laughing. “I know it would be nice to pretend, but—”

“No, I’m not pretending! That was our first time,” Kurt grins. “Our first _good_ time.”

“Oh, my god,” Blaine continues to laugh. He smiles up at Kurt who, grins right back down at him. “You’re ridiculous, you know?”

“Well, hey, that’s perfect, because you’re kind of ridiculous too.” Kurt leans forward and nips at his nose gently. “Does that make us good for each other, or something?”

Blaine’s laughter fades, leaving a soft smile in its place. “I’ve always thought so,” he says. He rests his head on Kurt’s shoulder and says, “I’m just lucky enough you finally agree.”

Kurt kisses his forehead again, and then leans his cheek against Blaine’s hair.

They lie like that for a bit, breathing still a little heavy, smiles ever-present on their faces.

It’s Blaine, once again, who breaks the silence. He shifts his head a little under Kurt’s and says, “You know what I can’t wait to do?”

“What?” Kurt asks, staying exactly where he is, not feeling like moving at all.

“I can’t wait to show you why I love anal sex so much.”

Kurt sputters a little, sitting up so that he can properly stare down at Blaine in disbelief. Blaine bursts into adorable giggles, cheeks round and red. He presses his face into Kurt’s shoulder, and Kurt can’t help but start to laugh a little as well.

“You’re a minx, Blaine Anderson,” Kurt says, shaking his head in disbelief. “How have we been dating for almost three months and I still didn’t know that?”

“There’s still a lot we have to find out about each other,” Blaine says against Kurt’s skin, still shaking a little with laughter,

Kurt sighs, looking down at him. He’s so beautiful, naked and free, pressed against Kurt, shoulders shaking gently. His hair is even curlier now, and he can see the sweat drying on his nape. Kurt smiles, heart skipping in his chest as he watches his beautiful, incredible boyfriend.

“I can’t wait to find it all out,” Kurt replies. Blaine’s laughter seems to subside a little, and he peeks up so that their eyes can meet.

They sparkle, like stars, and Kurt could swear he can feel the love emanating from their gaze. He has no idea how he got so damn lucky.

“Me neither,” Blaine replies, then tucks himself perfectly into Kurt. Kurt pulls him as close as possible, sighing contently at how perfectly they fit together.

Then, of course, Blaine ruins it by pulling away suddenly, sitting up straight and staring at Kurt with wide, worried eyes. “Oh, my god!” He says. “We didn’t use condoms!”

Kurt bites down on his bottom lip, trying to stop himself from laughing. “Blaine—”

“Kurt, you still haven’t gotten tested! We should have—”

“Blaine,” Kurt says, running his hand over Blaine’s arm soothingly. “Blaine, it’s okay. I told you, I got tested six months ago and I was clean. I haven’t slept with anyone other than you in all that time, and we’ve always used condoms. It’ll be okay.”

Blaine sucks his cheek into his mouth, then says, “Okay, but tomorrow you’re going to the clinic and getting tested.”

Kurt nods instantly. “I promise.”

“And even if you’re clean, we still have to use condoms, okay?”

Kurt nods again. “I promise. No more slip ups.”

“Good,” Blaine says. “Because now that I know we’re actually good at that, we’re going to be doing it a lot more.”

“I’ll buy the hundred pack at the drugstore down the street,” Kurt promises, and Blaine grins up at him.

“Are you making fun of me?” he asks, clearly not annoyed about it.

“Absolutely not,” Kurt promises. “I was just laughing before because it seemed like such a random observation to make, after such a sweet moment together.”

“Alright, I get it. Work on my timing.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “I don’t thin you’re the one who has to do that,” Kurt says, chuckling a little.

Blaine lies back down, tucking himself back into Kurt. “We can both try?”

Kurt grins and wraps his arm around Blaine’s waist. “Sounds perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> [rebloggable on tumblr ](http://klaineanummel.tumblr.com/post/171847262475/for-the-very-first-time-but-not-really)


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